capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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