Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I can feel your judgement through the phone
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize