i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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