Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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