Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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