You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
