Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
