More tranny stories later!
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize