also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she peed on how many people?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
