Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize