What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
