I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
