So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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