So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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