i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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