I feel like abortions should bother me more
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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