yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't deserve a penis
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
