So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
