no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
