STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize