If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
