It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I love having hate sex.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
