I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
