Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
