Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
