its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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