Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
