Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
