Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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