what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
