I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
The air taste purple.
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