Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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