I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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