absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
