Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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