I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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