I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
