you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
