hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
