Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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