I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
