We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I need to sanitize my soul.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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