OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
