After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
