I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
