Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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