hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
