She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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