Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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