and you said cock pushups were impossible
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
