My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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