Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
