They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
