I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
