I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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