Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize