Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
