all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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