I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
