am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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