He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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