What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I deserve this hangover.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
