he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
