Having a random hookup so left but love u
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You are a genius and a whore.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
