I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
