I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize