Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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