People in love make me want to vomit
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Can I color on your dick again?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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