Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The air was thick with penises
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
