Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
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