You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
