just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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