I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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