Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
