You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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