I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Randomize