I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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