party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
