I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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